Sideburns at Last

i cannot breathe holy SHIT


i cannot breathe holy SHIT

Terrible joke of the day:

Your mother is so ugly that they should wrap an elder scroll around her face so that people at least learn something first.

I wish I could protect everyone, and yet I fear a time in which there are few enough of us that I would be able to.

I know a great number of things. Public things and secret things. Things that you would wish I didn’t know. Things that no one else should know. Things that I can use to meet my own ends. Things that could end the world. You may wonder how I have come to know them. You may wonder if you could know them too. You may ask me if i could tell you what they may be. I will only ever tell you this. Listen. Listen to everything until you can hear nothing. Then listen until you hear everything. Soon enough you might come to know these things as well.
Christian Taylor
1600+ Damage With a Single Magic Missile Spell

 ‎(i moved some things around to get more out of each cast)

Wizard: 8 ranks in concentration, know(arcana), and spellcraft
feats: iron will, combat casting, maximize,
Bonus(twin spell(CArc))

Incantrix:a 9th rank in concentration and spellcraft
Feats: empower spell, blistering spell(PHB2), arcane thesis(magic missile)(PHB2), enervate spell(LM),
Bonus(easy metamagic(twinspell)(DR325), repeating spell(CArc), heighten spell, energy admixture(fire)(CArc))
Class Abilities: improved metamagic 

Force Missile Mage:
Feat: easy metamagic(energy admixture(fire))(DR325)
Class Abilities: bonus missilex2, energy missile

Ok so through applying the metamagic feats it would normally use a 23rd level spell slot but through arcane thesis and improved metamagic(-1 on all for each) it would bring it down to 11 then through the two easy metamagic feats (-1 on the particular metamagic each)to make all of them only +1 level adjustment to use a level 9 spell slot.
With the two extra missiles and energy missile from FMM magic missile does 7d4+7 (fire) as a level 1 spell
Then add heighten to make it as if a level 4 spell 
blistering spell adds +2/level for another +8/missile giving you 7d4+63
maximized = 91(fire)
empowered = 136.5 (fire)
enervated (150%vs living) = 204.75 (fire)
twin (as if cast twice) = 405.5 (fire)
energy admixture(fire) (fire damage done again) = 819
repeating (same spell cast the next round) = 1638

so it takes two rounds, a level 9 spell slot, 15 prestige levels between two prestige classes, and a human character to get all 13 feats but it is possible to actually do 1600+ damage with magic missile with no save and automatically hit.

A Mathematical Proof on The Topic of Women

Ok so as you may or may not know math can be applied to anything including the “fairer sex.” Well let’s take a look at how.

It all starts with a simple phrase “women cost time and money” Tell me do you think that this is true? That my friends is a rhetorical question the answer is yes so to start we have

women = time x money

So far so good. Next is the business idea that time is money    time = money 

women = money x money


women = money^2

now i’m sure many of you have heard that money is the root of all evil with can be translated into a math format as  money = sqrt(evil) 

women = (sqrt(evil))^2 

Now the square root of any number squared is that number and the same applies here 

women = evil

There you have it. Mathematically proven and known by people everywhere. If you have any questions with this lesson feel free to contact me.

Wait! Nobody move…… I think I failed a spot check.

The only thing it needs to be a perfect day is ham.

The only thing it needs to be a perfect day is ham.